Yitro
Ethics Concerning In-Laws and Elders
והזהרתה אתהם את־החקים ואת־התורת והודעת להם את־הדרך ילכו בה ואת־המעשׂה אשׁר יעשׂון
You shall teach them the statutes and the laws and shall show them the way in which they must walk, and the work that they must do. – Exodus 18:20
Jethro admonishes and instructs his son-in-law, Moshe, concerning the training that those put in charge of the flock of God should receive. The Talmud teaches that this verse refers to bestowing chesed, visiting the sick, burying the dead, keeping the commandments, and even going beyond the minimum requirements of the commandments. The Chofetz Chayim says that even though these are obligations that everyone must fulfill, judges especially must be taught them so that their exemplary behavior will serve as a means to sanctify the Name of Heaven. When people witness the benevolence and integrity of their judges, they will readily submit themselves to their authority and heed their teachings. Furthermore, the sages have always stressed the responsibility of someone who studies Torah to behave in a manner that will generate in others the desire to have their children also study Torah. James, the brother of the Master, echoes these words: “Let not many of you be teachers, my brothers, knowing that we will receive heavier judgment” (James 3:1). Paul, the Master’s apostle, gives a more specific admonition about these things:
Indeed you bear the name of a Jew, rest on the law, glory in God, know his will, and approve the things that are excellent, being instructed out of the law, and are confident that you yourself are a guide of the blind, a light to those who are in darkness, a corrector of the foolish, a teacher of babies, having in the law the form of knowledge and of the truth. You therefore who teach another, don’t you teach yourself? You who preach that a man shouldn’t steal, do you steal? You who say a man shouldn’t commit adultery; do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who glory in the law, do you dishonor God by disobeying the law? For “the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you,” just as it is written. (Romans 2:17–24)
To be responsible leaders, these elders were to be taught the ways of the Torah. The first virtues that they therefore will need to be endowed with are respect for position and authority as well as humility. One of the ethical values we see in Parashah Yitro is in the respect that Moshe bears for Yitro, his father-in-law. In-laws commonly trend as the butt of many jokes nowadays. If someone says, “Oh, my in-laws are coming to spend a few days at my house next month!” —we imagine that the person will be going through a stressful time at home. Not so with Moshe. Moshe’s father-in-law, likely a descendant of one of Avraham’s other children through Keturah named Midian, is a mysterious figure. Some contend that he was a pagan priest, while others see him continuing in the faith of Avraham, his forefather. Not wanting to inadvertently speak evil or wrongly about someone who is not present to make their own case, I will not draw judgment or speculation. In any case, my point here is not about Jethro, also called Reu’el (friend of God), but about Moshe.
The text of Torah tells us that “Moses went out to meet his father-in-law, and bowed and kissed him. They asked each other of their welfare, and they came into the tent.” (Exodus 18:7). Moshe had not seen his wife or children for a long time, but whom did he honor first? Jethro. How did he honor him? By prostrating himself and kissing him. Whatever kind of life Jethro led is irrelevant when it comes to Moshe. HaShem had honored Moshe with mighty miracles, talked to him directly, and used him in mighty ways. Moshe could have looked upon Jethro with condescension, but he did not. He went to honor and greet him even before he went to his wife and children. Not only was Moshe mightily used by HaShem, but before that, he was an officer in Pharaoh’s army. Having been raised in Pharaoh’s household, he was used to a position of leadership. But despite that background, we read that Jethro felt comfortable to give Moshe, the great prophet of God, some needed advice. This tells a lot about Moshe, who HaShem said was the meekest of all men (Numbers 12:3). The prouder we are, the harder it is for us to receive counsel. We usually chafe at it by “killing the messenger” and finding fault with its deliverer. Pulling rank is also a common way of one insecure in his position to push against counsel. When we indulge in these sorts of behaviors, it is difficult for us to benefit from the wise counsel of others, as people don’t usually want to bother giving it to us. It is even more lethal when we act that way while in a position of leadership.
It was not so with Moshe, whose father-in-law felt he could tell Moshe: Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “The thing that you do is not good. You will surely wear away, both you, and this people that is with you; for the thing is too heavy for you. You are not able to perform it yourself alone. Listen now to my voice. I will give you counsel, and God be with you. You represent the people before God, and bring the causes to God. You shall teach them the statutes and the laws, and shall show them the way in which they must walk, and the work that they must do. Moreover you shall provide out of all the people able men which fear God: men of truth, hating unjust gain; and place such over them, to be rulers of thousands, rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens. Let them judge the people at all times. It shall be that every great matter they shall bring to you, but every small matter they shall judge themselves. So shall it be easier for you, and they shall share the load with you. If you will do this thing, and God commands you so, then you will be able to endure, and all these people also will go to their place in peace.” So Moses listened to the voice of his father-in-law, and did all that he had said. (Exodus 18:17–24)
And we see that “Moses listened to the voice of his father-in-law and did all that he said.” Later, these seventy elders would be honored by joining Moshe, Aharon, Eliab, and Abihu to the banquet of all banquets. They would get to see “…the God of Israel. Under his feet was like a paved work of sapphire stone, like the skies for clearness” (Exodus 24:9–10).
There was a time in Israel when a king, unlike Moshe, was opposed to receiving sound advice. We usually blame King Solomon’s idolatry for the break of Israel into two kingdoms, but really, HaShem gave an opportunity for a different path. Read the account of Rehoboam after his father, Solomon, died: Rehoboam went to Shechem, for all Israel had come to Shechem to make him king. When Jeroboam the son of Nebat heard of it (for he was yet in Egypt, where he had fled from the presence of king Solomon, and Jeroboam lived in Egypt, and they sent and called him), Jeroboam and all the assembly of Israel came, and spoke to Rehoboam, saying, “Your father made our yoke difficult. Now therefore make the hard service of your father, and his heavy yoke which he put on us, lighter, and we will serve you.” He said to them, “Depart for three days, then come back to me.” The people departed.
The new king consulted with the ancient wiser counselors who told him, “If you will be a servant to this people today, and will serve them, and answer them with good words, then they will be your servants forever.” But he abandoned the counsel of the old men which they had given him and took counsel with the young men who had grown up with him, who stood before him. He said to them, “What counsel do you give, that we may answer these people, who have spoken to me, saying, ‘Make the yoke that your father put on us lighter?’” The young men who had grown up with him said to him, “Tell these people who spoke to you, saying, ‘Your father made our yoke heavy, but make it lighter to us;’ tell them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist. Now my father burdened you with a heavy yoke, but I will add to your yoke. My father chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions.’” So, Jeroboam and all the people came to Rehoboam the third day, as the king asked, saying, “Come to me again the third day.” The king answered the people roughly and abandoned the counsel of the old men which they had given him, and spoke to them according to the counsel of the young men, saying, “My father made your yoke heavy, but I will add to your yoke. My father chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions.” So the king didn’t listen to the people. (1 Kings 12:1–15)
HaShem used Pharaoh’s already hardened pride to accomplish his will (Exodus 14:4). Throughout history, he used Israel’s enemies to reveal himself to the world. Pharaoh, the Assyrian Empire, Nebuchadnezzar, Cyrus, the Amalekites, the Philistines, Antiochus Epiphanes, Tiberius Caesar, the Catholic Inquisition, the Third Reich, alongside Balaam, the Edomites, the Moabites, and all the other villains of history, were but instruments in his hands to accomplish his will.
May HaShem give us the wisdom to seek right mature advice, and the humility to receive it.
R. Gabriel Lumbroso from: Ethics of the Sons
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